Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
If you think this is as bad as it can get, don’t count on it.
Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.
No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.
Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing.
If you can smile when everything goes wrong, you probably don’t understand the problem.