on Braces, this you call a smile?"
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER: "I don’t care what you’ve
discovered, You didn’t call, you didn’t write!
MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER: "A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for
you the walls Like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to
get that schmutz off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON’S JEWISH MOTHER: "You’re not hiding your report card? Show me!
Take your hand out of your jacket and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S JEWISH MOTHER: Again with that hat! Why can’t you
wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JEWISH MOTHER: "Next time I catch you throwing
money across the Potomac , you can kiss your allowance good-bye!
THOMAS EDISON’S JEWISH MOTHER: "Okay, so I’m proud that you invented
the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE’S JEWISH MOTHER: "I don’t care where you think you have to
go, Young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S JEWISH MOTHER: "Your senior photograph and you
couldn’t have done something with your hair?"
MOSES’ JEWISH MOTHER: "Desert schmesert!! Where have you really been
for the last forty years?"
BILL GATES’ JEWISH MOTHER: "It would have killed you to become a
BILL CLINTON’S JEWISH MOTHER: "Well, at least she was a nice Jewish
girl, that Monica!"