Ba da Boom

   There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my hotel room door all night! I finally had to let her out.
*   A car hit an elderly man.

     The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?"
     The man says, "I make a  good  living."
*   I just got back from a pleasure trip.
     I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
*   I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years.
     If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me! 
*   Someone stole all my credit  cards, but I won’t be reporting it.
     The thief spends less than my wife  did.

*   We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 
*   She was at the beauty shop for two hours.

      That was only for the estimate.
      She got a mudpack and looked  great for two days.
       Then the mud fell off. 
*   The doctor gave a man six months to live.
     The man couldn’t pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
*   The Doctor called Mrs. Smith saying, "Mrs. Smith, your check came back."
     Mrs. Smith answered, "So did my arthritis!"
*   Doctor: "You’ll live to be 60!"
     Patient: "I AM 60!"
     Doctor:  "See! What did I tell you?"
*   A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man’s chest.
     The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?"
     The doctor says, "That’s what puzzles me!"
*   Doctor says to a man, "You’re  pregnant!"
     The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?"
      The doctor says,"The usual way. A little wine, a little dinner, you know?"
*   Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don’t answer!"
*   A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You’ve been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let’s get started."
This entry was posted in Humor. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Ba da Boom

  1. Pigalina says:

    Ah oneliners, the kind of jokes my Dad kindly didn\’t do at my wedding, though he was dying to. I really like your black and white photos, the are very stylish. 🙂

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